I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
