Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
