Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
