He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
