and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
