some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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