census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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