"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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