i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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