Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
