There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
