Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
