His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize