Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
