What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
