OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
