Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
