In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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