I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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