I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
