So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
