I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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