i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
