Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We were destined to go to rehab together
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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