dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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