So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
