I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
