She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
