Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
