I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
