dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
