Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
worst night to have a conscience
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
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