PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
