He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
