we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Farmville is her only friend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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