therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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