weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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