Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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(757): View more from Virginia

it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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(786): View more from Florida

He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

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(209): View more from California

he laminated a picture of his dick.

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(229): View more from Georgia

My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Well... this vagina won't eat itself

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina

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(315): View more from New York

The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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(315): View more from New York

I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.

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