This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
