the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
