There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
