As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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