Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
