You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Plan B is the new Plan A
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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