Apparently you make a good broom.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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