I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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