So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
