i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
