my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
