my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
